and so it begins...

i have had a lot of crappy stuff happen in the past year or so. actually, life has been on a pretty good downward spiral for a few years now, probably starting with when my engagement was broken and i had to call the wedding off (because he "wasn't ready" to get married. just a tip to any guy reading this....if you aren't ready to get married, DON'T PROPOSE! anyway....). from there i got into a rebound relationship which was fun but soon turned serious. fast forward a year or so to accidentally getting pregnant and then trying to work out the rocky rebound relationship. then i found out that i was getting laid off of my teaching job....and 2 weeks later found out i was pregnant AGAIN. to add insult to injury, my relationship was sinking faster than the titanic and my life was about to explode. i will spare all the details leading up to my life exploding but generally, it wasn't good for anyone. i became a single, pregnant mom with a 1 year old who didn't have a job and as a result, couldn't afford the morgage on my house. fast forward again to moving back home with my parents at age 31 with my 1 year old and 2 month old baby.

basically, life shit on me and it's been a rough few years. and i have been living home with my parents now for a little over 6 months and not much has changed. i mean, i have friends and hang out and we do stuff, but i am still unemployed, without a place of my own and still very single. in fact, i don't even think i've FLIRTED with a guy in over a year. it's a little pathetic actually. i am afraid i might lose my game.

anyway, i am sick of feeling like my life sucks. people talk about the power of positive thinking so i have decided that i am going to force myself to think positively so that i can feel better about my life, and maybe even will the universe into helping me move out of the sucky stage of my life and into a stage where i am happy with things again. so my experiment is to write 5 things that i am grateful for. i plan to write at least every week but i might do it every day. heck, if i get on a roll, i might do it many times a day. i am hoping that by taking a few moments to appreciate the things that i DO have in my life and that are going well, i might not focus so much on the suckiness of all that shit in the past few years. so here goes.....